Let the Journey Begin
As we start this journey together, I wanted to share some thoughts and Bible verses about the concept of rest that the Lord gave me some time ago. When I first came across the concept of rest, I was struggling through undiagnosed severe Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
I had been a Christian for about five years, been married to a wonderful lady for six years and had four young children. Then one unsuspecting day, everything changed.
I had been a soldier for many years, but it was not my time in the Army that was the direct cause of my PTSD/Anxiety/Depression/etc. No doubt it was a contributor and set me up for what was coming, but it wasn’t the actual cause. The cause…I suffered a heart attack at 36 years old for what appeared to be no apparent reason.
All the tests done at the hospital showed everything was normal, no blockages in the arteries, no build-up of coronary plaque or any other abnormalities…. except for the damage to the lower portion of my heart and the increased levels of the cardiac protein troponin, which the heart releases into the blood following an injury, such as a heart attack.
I was given the ‘all clear’ after an angiogram showed my cardiac 'event' was not caused by the traditional blocked arteries or any other cardiac specific issue. Once my cardiac status was established, I was promptly assured by the doctors that this was a freak of nature type occurrence that would probably never happen again. They advised me there would probably never be an explanation for what took place and that I should go home and continue my life. For some, if not many people, this would have been the case, but not for me.
That first night out of hospital, and every night from that point on for the next eight years, I lay in bed at night expecting to die. In my mind, every pain in my body was a sign I was having another heart attack. Every discomfort, every odd sensation sent me into a spiral of fear. I became a prisoner to anxiety, constantly visiting emergency rooms and doctors, seeking reassurance that I wasn’t about to have another heart attack. This led to frequent trips to the hospital emergency ward or to the doctors. It did not matter what time of the day or night it was, or where I was, or what I was doing, I would drop everything and get myself to where I could get some medical assurance that I was OK.
As you can imagine, I transformed from a confident, strong 36-year-old ex-soldier who was successfully leading a small Christian school and a few other ministries, to an anxiety driven, fearful shadow of my former self, almost unrecognizable to my wife.
I spent the next few years in complete inner turmoil. The lights were on, but no one was home. I was in a constant battle in my mind every minute of every hour of every day…for about eight years. There is a verse in the Bible that explains exactly how I was feeling, and it’s found in Psalm 107 verses 26 and 27 "They mount up to the heaven, they go down again to the depths: their soul is melted because of trouble. They reel to and fro, and stagger like a drunken man, and are at their wits' end."
At just the right time in this personal battle, I heard a message preached which covered the Biblical concept of REST. I was hungry for God to give me something, anything to help with what I was experiencing. To say I was excited to hear I could have rest in the midst of my storm through the power of Jesus Christ and His Word is an understatement.
From this initial introduction to the concept of rest, The Lord and I embarked on a journey, and He introduced me to His love and mercy and the power of the promises of God to strengthen and settle me. He has shown me the value of repositioning to return to his rest.
